Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Letter to my 16 year old self

Dear Ms. Nayak

I am a much older self of yours from the future trying to tell you what life is going to be like in the next 10 years.

I know you are enjoying snow in Canada. The flurry you saw last weekend was amazing right? Enjoy while you can. In the future you will get sick of this snow and hope to hope to the warmest part of Canada. Believe it or not, you will be looking forward to summers and not winters!!

You go to school and you are actually pretty good in math here.. I know, you sucked at math in India, but here you love the teachers and the way it is taught and you actually think Geometry is interesting. You have 3 math courses in grade 12! You graduate from an amazing university.. So stop worrying!!!!

Yes.. Yes, you have a boyfriend ! God you couldn't wait to hear about this, huh?You date him for 5 years , fall madly in love and then get married at quite an young age... Can you guess who that person is?
  Remember that tall boy from Garfa who couldn't really play cricket, had a cute smile , sorta nerdy and tried to show you how to light fireworks during Kalipuja 
Yup you guessed right.. same chap! Nothing has changed much in 10 years --> he still can't play cricket, he still has a cute smile, still nerdy and still thinkshe knows how to light fire works better than you.

Your birthdays does get dull every year. You don't have Baba- Ma every year with you. You live in different cities. But wherever you are they still send you a card, with Baba' signature artistic handwriting and the year inside the card. The years that you are together you still get so many gifts you are overwhelmed and it reminds you of your younger days.  Ma makes you payesh every year, without fail.. 

Dida eventually stops writing a poem especially for you on your birthday because she decides to leave you and this world. In her last conversation with you, she actually tells you to prepare yourself to deal with her not being there. But you never can, so you strategize to think you had fight with her and you are not calling her. Lal dadu's calls you almost very year on your birthday and then eventually stops as well. You greatly miss them, especially on rainy days like this!

You finally have a friend who was born on the same day as you and you guys instantly become best friends. Your other best friend, is from the country whose poetry and language you always admired.. No they don't eat biriyani all day.. And no they don't all dress like Akhbar and write poetry all day long... They have a life!! You best friend from school is still the same.. Still an idiot and still Doesnt call you enough but you eventually grow up and learn how to deal with him. He starts living very close to you but still doesn't visit you.

You work. But you work in something that has nothing to do with what your degree was in! So stop worrying so much about your career and such... Everything is okay!

Enjoy Toronto you are not going to be therefor ever. Explore the city, get to know it...

You think now that it was silly that you were so worried about your career, education, having a boyfriend. You got all that!! But guess what you still worry about career, education  in a different aspect... Well you have a husband now!!! 

Dida and Dadu are gone, no matter how much you tried to hold on to them...

So what I'm saying is you will always worry about something, life will be transient and you will have to leave people behind as you move forward, no matter how hard you try to stop it, you can't. So enjoy today my dear, stop worrying so much about what will happen tomorrow! You can only put your best foot forward and then wait and watch the magic.

Your much older self!

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