Sunday, May 11, 2014

Rita's life as a Vegan!

Let me tell you a story about my friend, let's call her Rita. So Rita recently went Vegan!
That's right! From a very fish and chicken loving Bengali straight to ----> Vegan. If you don't know what vegan means, here is a definition from the internet :

So, basically, she stays away from animal products. Rita doesn't eat meat, fish or any diary products. Reason? Ethical. Watched a documentary called "Vegucated" and went Vegan, cold turkey! Not a lot of people can relate to this and  she ends up having fun conversation with people, trying to  "vegucate" them . Here are a few examples :

Friend/ Collegue:  Hey I'm throwing a dinner party this Friday! You should come. Any food allergies I should be aware of? Or anything you avoid eating?
Rita: Umm, actually I don't eat meat, fish or diary.
Invitor (is there such a word? Who cares!) : What? Why?
Rita: I'm vegan!
Invitor: oh! (sad and concerned face). What do you eat, then ? How do you get your protein? Can you drink?
First thing that comes to Rita's mind : Drink!!??!! What are you serving at this party?

But Rita is always nice and  ends up trying to explain the 5 Ws : Who What Where When and Why! And also along with the explanation she loses her invite to the next party, just like that!

The most hilarious interactions are with her uncle back in India

Uncle: Okay so explain this to me again. You are what?
Rita: Vee- gan! 
Uncle: Vegan?? So no animal products?
Rita: Yes, Jethu (timidly)
Uncle: Okay so you can eat fish right?
Rita: No, I don't eat fish anymore.
Uncle: What?? Why?

Jethu almost has a panic attack on the phone. He probably has no idea what to feed her next time she visits. Because according to the Rule # 1 in "How to entertain guests: Bengali Edition" You HAVE to overfeed your guests - how else can you show you them you love them?

 "Arektu ne" (take some more) comes the request when Rita is generally working on her third helping
- Na, na pet bhore geche (No, thanks I'm full)
- Really? Naki ranna kharap hoyeche? (Really,  or is it my cooking that sucks?)

Yeah so she is alienating her family and losing friends fast! But she is determined that the world will change one day and people will see things from her point of view. She will be able to go to restaurants and will not have to timidly murmer she is "Vegan"!
She will not try to hide the fact she is Vegan from people, dreading the half an hour long conversation that generally follows.. trying to explain her food choices..

She has decided to follow Gandhi's words:

                 " Keep Calm and be the Change you wish to see in the world"

Okay, that wasn't all Mahatma Gandhi, that was Mahatma Gadhi + some very intelligent person's .jpg image that came up on google search!

Okay, can I tell you a secret? I have no friend called Rita!

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